A map of trust-building behaviors
I think a lot about trust.
Trust is a foundational condition for collaboration and innovation. Trust enables relationships to form, out of which we can do great things together. I’ve come to realize that relationships are more important to me than innovation.
When I thought about the people I find most trustworthy, I could see some simple things they do that make me feel safe around them. So, I thought I would check if others shared my perspective. I asked people around me: “What makes someone trustworthy?”
Some patterns emerged, which I sorted into three buckets. The areas are: Competence, Connection, and Character.
Competence contains the actions that demonstrate my ability to do what I say I can do. They include:
Doing excellent work
Acknowledging areas in which I am not an expert
Clarifying expectations to create a shared vision and agreement
Constantly learning and improving
Being consistent in communicating my values and priorities
Listening with the intent to understand, not reply (or make my point)
Connection is about building relationship when I am working with people. It includes:
Admitting when I have made a mistake and working to make amends
Seeking to understand perspectives that are different from my own
Respecting the boundaries and preferences of others
Giving people choice and not coercing them
Being fully present and giving my full attention in conversations
Showing appreciation for others and their efforts
Finding common ground and solving problems together
Character is about integrity—how my mindsets, morals, and actions align with what I claim to believe. It’s the standard I hold myself and others to. It includes:
Extending trust to others, not only demanding they be trustworthy to me
Keeping confidential or revealing information to myself, no matter how juicy
Committing to principles and goals that are larger than my own self-interest
Doing what I say I am going to do
Encouraging others to critique and improve my ideas without being defensive
Judging my work with the same standards that I use to measure others
Giving more than I take
Each time I work with a client, group, or even have a chat with someone over coffee, I work to build trust. Trust doesn’t happen immediately, but can be developed fairly predictably.